"On my own..."

Those three words really do mean something to me....as I'm sure they do to you.

As a child, I'm sure I said to my dad and mom that I wanted to do something on my own. As I went away to college, it was my dad who mentioned how much he and mom would learn....not necessarily me.

Now that I'm 50....it seems that there are days when I wish I didn't have to do everything on my own. Yes, I have great friends that I do "things" with...but sometimes it'd be nice to have a male companion to share the journey. When I divorced, it was a choice I made. For the most part, it is just fine. There are certain times of the year when I find it tougher than others to cope. This is one of those times. There are days when being on my own isn't fun. It's really a lot of work. I keep telling myself it's all part of a process along this journey of life. I also realize that I may not get that opportunity to share it with someone else, either. I have to make the best of what I have.

On Saturday night, as I was driving home, had on a radio station from Madison, WI (Star Country 96.3) and I heard this song. It is by new country artist Crystal Shawanda and entitled, "You Can Let Go."

The 2nd anniversary of Dad's death is coming on July 3, 2008 and this song was just so appropriate. It brought tears to my eyes as I'm sure it will to yours. It was so poignant to me as I was with Dad when he let go.

The words are here:

Wind blowin' on my face
Sidewalk flyin' beneath my bike
A five year-old's first taste
Of what freedom's really like
He was runnin' right beside me
His hand holdin' on the seat
I took a deep breath and hollered
As I headed for the street

Chorus
You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Oh, I think I'm ready
To do this on my own
(It's still) (It still feels) a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I'll be okay now, Daddy
You can let go

I was standin' at the altar
Between the two loves of my life
To one I've been a daughter
To one I soon would be a wife
When the preacher asked,
'Who gives this woman?'

Daddy's eyes filled up with tears
He kept holdin' tightly to my arm
'Til I whispered in his ear

(Repeat Chorus)

It was killin' me to see
The strongest man I ever knew
Wastin' away to nothin'
In that hospital room
'You know he's only hangin' on for you'
That's what the night nurse said
My voice and heart were breakin'
As I crawled up in his bed, and said

You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Your little girl is ready
To do this on my own
It's gonna be a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I'll be okay now, Daddy
You can let go
You can let go